|
Choose your friends wisely...
and you'll stay on course.
By Carl Caton
I've always been fascinated with geese. I love the time of year when you see them migrating in their legendary V formation. Scientific experiments have indicated that when geese fly in a V formation, each goose creates an upward lift for the goose behind. Flying together in this way gives a goose more than 60% more flying range than if he flies alone.
I think this scientific law should be applied to men as well. We should be careful in choosing the male friendships we intend to pursue. Will this friend support me in my quest to make a difference in my family? Or will the friendship take away from my effectiveness in being a husband and father?
Let's face it, there are two distinctly different types of men. There are men who live for themselves and there are men who live for others, notably their families. In the former case, many men see their duty strictly as the breadwinner. He envisions that once he has provided for the material needs of his family, he is free to entertain himself as he sees fit. Whether it be outdoor sports, excessive television, or
whatever, this man sees his time as his own. When you establish a friendship with this type of man, you are expected to participate in the fun. If the guys are going fishing for the weekend, you are expected to go... even at the expense of your own family. This type of friend will distract you from your duties as a faithful husband and father.
I find funerals to be quite enlightening. I'm reminded of a funeral I attended for a man I never knew. Actually I knew this man's daughter and son-in-law. It was obvious that there was very little closeness in the family. Her parents had divorced and she had lost contact with the father. We attended the funeral because this young lady was a friend of the family. On the way to the funeral, I pondered what the eulogy would be. I have to be honest when I say that I have very little respect for any man who doesn't win the love of his own daughter. But you never know what circumstances could have created the friction they had found. I wasn't surprised when I heard the same word over and over at this man's funeral. Golf. Golf. Golf. More golf. Not one time was there any mention of this man's love for anything other than golf. Sadly, this man spent his life pursuing his own desires. But his legacy didn't extend much more than ten minutes beyond the funeral. The daughter didn't even have the desire to attend the graveside service. What a tragedy... to die and be forgotten within hours. But it was a fact that this man invested himself in his golf game. While he may have been a really good golfer, his legacy ended the minute he could no longer play the game.
The other type of friend is one who supports you in your primary family roles. Like the geese, your friendship serves to help you fly higher and to stay the course longer. This type of friend understands that while your friendship is valuable,
your first and foremost allegiance is to your own family. This type of friend will support you in that role. You get together with this friend when
the family schedule permits. You pray for this friend, you support him, you lend a listening ear. You provide a needed level of accountability. But
never does your friendship supercede on another's role in your own nuclear family.
Like the geese, healthy male friendships are those where both men are flying in the same direction and provide support to one another as you complete the course.
|
|
